Let me present to you a simple little exercise that will reap many benefits to your life. Plus, using this tool will help strengthen the most important relationships in your life. 
Take a sheet of paper (really, don’t just try to do this in your head; it won’t work). On the paper, make a list of 10-20 qualities and characteristics you want your spouse, close friend, or other important relation to exhibit. 
For example, you might include honesty, confident, forgiving, funny, friendly, etc. 
Make the list. That’s part one of this exercise. If you want the full advantage of this exercise, you’ll make your list right now before reading the rest of this article. So go do it! Make your list . . .
Now, read about the second part of the exercise . . . 
Review the list carefully thinking about each of the characteristics you want from your loved one. And now here’s the big deal . . . 
BE the List! You BE those same characteristics to your spouse or your friend or your co-worker. What you want from them, be that way first! 
So often we grumble and complain about how we’re being treated. Or maybe we feel like we’re not being loved enough or in a way that feeds us. It’s so easy to look outward and even getting into a little blaming. Oh, I feel a scripture coming on! 
Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me remove the speck that is in your eye,’ when you yourself do not see the plank that is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck that is in your brother’s eye.
Luke 6:42
I’m not saying we’re hypocritical when we’re being that way. However, I do think we are in a much better place when we look at what we can do rather than wait for others. So take your list. Choose a couple of character qualities that you want others to display to you . . . and instead give them to those you love and care about. Behave that way consistently. Plant seeds of kindness, love, joy, and caring. My guess is that you truly will reap what you sow. And everyone involved will be better off!
Be blessed!